Imagine if you had the opportunity to get squashed by the World’s Heaviest Mom? That’s what this little nonfictional tale is all about.
Long before Full Weight Productions came to life, I was busy hustling to find new squash opportunities. Most of the opportunities came by way of random profiles I’d come across on the various social media platforms. Myspace, Yahoo groups, etc. This process worked very, very well. Ahhhhh, the gratitude I have for being alive during such a connected time. It’s so great… isn’t it? I met some amazing women along the way. Some of which who turned into actual models. Some who are just friends who love to, at times, use their weight as a portal to adventure and aggression-release.
There was one woman, however, that didn’t come to my attention by normal means.
One day I caught word of a news story. There was a woman. A HUGE woman. Who was trying to make the Guinness Book of World Records. She hoped to be the world’s heaviest woman to give birth. Of course, her name was out there and so I got to googling. Turned out that she lived only one state away. Armed with the information I had, I was able to track her down quite easily.
Fast forward to the end of this story. She did, indeed, make the Guinness Book of World Records.
And I also got squashed by her. Twice. Brutally.
Getting the Ball Rolling
At the time, this woman was an existing model in the BBW industry. I went to her (now defunct) website and started browsing her content. Wow… she was beautiful. And gigantic. Plus, the whole idea of her possibly being in the Guinness Book of World Records because of her weight magnified my desire to experience it.
“It” being her weight.
Make no mistake, though… I was intrigued to meet her, as a person, as well. To understand how she came to this juncture in her life where she was vying for the title of “heaviest woman to give birth.”
We got to emailing back and forth and surprisingly… she was down to try this. She had never before squashed. At least not seriously. I knew some media outlets were reporting her to be 630 lbs. She looked heavier to me. Regardless… I knew she’d be a massive challenge.
The date and location were set. We’d meet at a hotel that was local to her. Her boyfriend would drive her to me and we’d meet and introduce her to squashing. In the interim, I was busy showing her various pictures and videos so that she’d be prepared. Some women are so unsuspecting about the power of their weight that they are surprised that I grunt and moan while they’re moving their massive bodies around on me. In order to combat that surprise and set the expectations, I’ve developed the habit of sharing a bunch of content beforehand.
I sent her videos that best depicted the following positions:
- Soft surface
- Hard surface
She was down to try anything and everything. When I hear that… a woman that claims to have no reservations about all the best content I’m sharing with her, my excitement and concern grow hand in hand. I know that I’m going to be exposed to serious pressure and it’s going to be epic. I also know that I’m going to have to be careful. Well… as careful as one can be with a woman weighing more than a quarter of a ton shifting her full weight around on top of me.
It was the day of. I had driven a couple of hours to the agreed upon hotel. Her arrival time had come and gone. I had already shifted the furniture around the room to make as much room as possible. I know that I have to leave a large chair (preferably a sofa) in reach because women this size need to sit. I want it to be as comfortable as possible when she first gets into the room. I shifted the coffee table, tiny seats, desk chair, the bed, and everything else to one side of the room in order to make space on the floor.
The thing about my fascination with squashing is this.
I like to truly feel every ounce. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve done some of the heaviest single-woman-trampling out there on the ‘net. When a woman is standing on you, it’s as pure as it gets in terms of experiencing her weight. But it’s also why I prefer to get sat on while laying on the hard, wooden board. Mattresses and cushions dilute the experience. If you feel the need to use those things, why not simply go hard surface with a lighter woman in order to keep it pure?
I mean… don’t get me wrong. I use mattresses and cushions for certain situations. You know… those acts that would freaking kill me if I subjected myself to them without padding. Things like 600+ lb full-on butt drops. And I’ll leak some mattress sitting in during a shoot nowadays to give myself a break.
I have to laugh when I type break, lol. Yes… cushioned sitting is much easier than hard-surface sitting. On the same token, though… the pressure is still immense. She could still break my bones and even kill me even with the padding under my body. Heck, I remember Zsalynn from Bigfatchics breaking a guys rib while sitting on him on the bed. Point is… no matter how you’re doing it… this stuff is intense. That and yeah… I really enjoy feeling every ounce as purely as possible.
At this particular time, though, I had not come up with the wooden board idea yet. In fact, it was this very experience that helped fuel the idea of the wooden board. Here’s the thing. Strap a 400-600 lbs fat suit onto your body. Get down on the floor. Now try and stand back up. Not so easy… I assure you. The board has made hard-surface sitting so much easier for the women. And when it’s easier for them, they can make it more intense for us! Win-win.
On this day I knew that if I were going to experience hard-surface sitting… it was going to be on the floor. Sure, there was a chincy coffee table in the room, but there was no way it was going to support me and then her on top of me bouncing around. I was smart enough to shy away from that. I mean, best case the table would break and this woman’s full weight would come crashing down onto me… possibly breaking a bone. Worst case, the table would break and the leg or a shard of wood would pierce my body as her weight crashed onto me.
You get the idea. The floor made a lot more sense at the time… and so I made space for the action
She started texting that she’d be late. She couldn’t say how late. Honestly… this is when my anxiety goes through the roof.
Is she going to flake on me?
Did I drive all this way and pay for a hotel room for nothing?
Is the hotel going to get suspicious when the largest woman they had ever seen walks through the lobby obviously never checking in?
Was I too presumptuous to shift around the furniture?
Heck, is this woman gathering her male friends to come and rob me?
My anticipation was running on overdrive. I couldn’t help but keep returning to my second-floor window peering out into the parking lot where I knew she’d be pulling up. Every single second felt like an eternity. It’s in these seconds where I truly doubt myself. I’m not sure why. I mean… I genuinely love the act of weight play. And I love, even more, to experience it with newcomers to the fetish. I love the adventure, the element of fear and danger, and even the meeting of new people and possibility of friendship. But baked into all of this is also some shame. As genuine and authentic as my love is for it, I can’t ever help but to feel a sense that I’m doing something wrong.
I think it has something to do with the immense pressure of cultural norms and how, from the outside looking in, what was about to transpire is beyond fucked up. Hell, some would call it assault. I often wonder how the average person walking down the street would perceive the sight of a 600+ lb woman jumping onto me. I imagine they’d think I’m dead. And that they had just witnessed a murder. Yeah, that’s pretty freaking cool to think about. What ordinary people would think is deadly is really just raw, heaven-like admiration from my perspective. But that shame starts to creep in while I’m sitting there staring out the window.
As fast as the shame enters my mind, it rushes out at the sight of the first car to pull into the parking lot since I took my overwatch position. It was a beat up old mini-van. Sure enough, it stops at the door that’s just below my window. The rear sliding door flings open. In it is the largest woman I had seen up to this point. Of course, she’s in the back. There’s no way she’s fitting in the front passenger seat! And she’s stunning. Truly an impressive goddess.
She works her way toward the door and ungracefully gets herself out. I’m literally in awe at how far upward the van’s shocks bounced as they were relieved from her massive load. Gulp!
She DEFINITELY looks bigger than 630!
And did you see the way that van moved with her weight? Is my body going to be able to handle this?
Here’s the thing about a woman this size. She takes a long time to get up to a second-floor hotel room. Since those early days, I’ve come to learn to always ask for a first-floor room. On this occasion, though, there was a significant gap between when I saw her enter the building to the time she was knocking on my door. In that time I’m looking in the mirror making sure I didn’t look ridiculous. Hey, you never know… you might have a booger or a whitehead that needs popping. I want to make as good of a first impression as someone of my average looks can make.
All the while, I’m SUPER aware and respectful of the nerves I’m sure she’s feeling. I mean, obesity is still massively discriminated upon in our culture. Given that immense pressure, I’m sure she’s feeling even more nervous about her first impression than I am of my own. Plus there’s the whole fact that she’s alone. Meeting a strange man. In a random hotel room.
Yeah, she’s definitely just as, if not more, nervous than I am. And again, I respect that and prepare myself with some deep breathes to act calm and welcoming so that she feels at ease. This is so important. For both of us.
Oh, and that whole strange man in a random hotel thing… I always wonder who would win? I mean, I’m as harmless as they come as any of the women I’ve worked with would attest to. But what if this situation unfolded with another man. A man that was out to cause the woman harm. To take advantage of her vulnerable position of being alone in a hotel room with them. Could a sub-200 pound man really handle a 600+ lb woman without a weapon? Of course, the only reason my mind veers down this path is because of its fascination with weight. In my mind, the answer is no. The man would be overpowered by the woman. She could pin him down and kill him even with very little effort at all. Awww… that power is so amazing. So special. So raw. So thrilling. I can’t wait to experience it.
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK!
Here we go!
I swing the door open with a huge smile and a welcoming hug. I invite her into the room to sit down on the sofa that I had arranged for her. She walks past me and I follow her to the sitting area. Wow, there’s no question that she’s bigger than her pictures lead us to believe! This is so awesome. I’m scared. Excited. Nervous. Happy.
Getting Squashed By the Heaviest Mom in the World
There’s always some small talk before starting to play with weight. I mean, there has to be. I realize that for a lot of guys out there, these women are viewed from merely a physical perspective. They might as well be brainless bags (big bags at that) of meat that they want to get under. This couldn’t be further from the truth from my perspective. First and foremost, that’s a woman sitting across from me in this random hotel room. A woman who’s scared and nervous for this first encounter. Plus she’s adventurous and open-minded… things that I place a huge premium of respect on.
I literally frame it in my mind that this is the only person in the world that matters right now. That she’s the most important person in the world. The most interesting. The most special. The one deserving of all that is genuine and good in me. Because I truly feel that way. In meeting her on this level (and this goes for all the women I’ve shared this experience with), it doesn’t take long for them to feel comfortable. Sure, there’s still the whole first squash experience thing to get under their belt. But on a human level, their concerns are removed.
It’s this human element that tends to separate me from the rest. From other producers. From other fans.
But I digress…
The point is, she was ready. We agree to film it because she was maybe going to use some of the content for her website. As odd as it might sound, filming it really doesn’t do much for me. It’s a pain in the ass if I’m being honest. I never go back and watch my own content… even to this day. I mean, yeah… sure. I watch it when I’m editing it to prepare it for upload to the websites. But beyond that, once it’s uploaded, I’m never watching it again. It just doesn’t do much for me. I prefer the real thing too much. That’s probably why I’ve built what I’ve built I guess.
Many women like to start out on the sofa or bed their first time. They’re so worried about breaking my bones or even killing me. Not this woman. It was right to the floor. Thank goodness I had cleared a nice big space for the action.
She struggled to get down onto me. To her credit, it’s quite a feat to get that much weight that low while maneuvering it around safely. Sure, she could just plop down but that increases the risk of serious injury to her or myself exponentially.
Wow, once she centered her weight on me it was all I had to keep my muscles tight and protect my ribs.
It’s one of those funny situations. There was so much anticipation leading up to this very moment. And here I am, maybe a few seconds into it, and I really, REALLY need to tap but I don’t want to ruin the moment. That said, I can begin feeling the tingles. That’s what I call that zone where you’ve been crushed to such a point that blacking out is on the horizon. Some guys don’t understand this. I hear it all the time from naive fans. “Why don’t you let them sit on you for hours?” Or I just love the, “I would have wanted TWO women that size and I would never tap.”
Yeah… okay buddy. Maybe you wouldn’t tap. But you’d also die. And sure… I’ll agree with you. It’s not such a bad way to go. Maybe even the ultimate way to go being a squash fan and all. But I’d much rather go out like that many, many years from now. Between now and then, though, there are just too many adventures to be had.
So yeah, I tapped. The ice was broken and now it was just a matter of seeing what else she’d be willing to try.
Next, she wanted to try rear facing chestsitting. I knew this would be even harder to handle. She struggled to get into position. In fact, for awhile she was sitting on my belly with one leg under her. Meaning her knee was on the floor supporting a bunch of her weight. Honest to goodness… I never looked. I was looking straight up struggling beyond belief not even realizing that I wasn’t getting her full weight. Once I went to tap, I picked my head off the floor to see the view before I tapped and sure enough… I noticed the oversight. I was shocked that she wasn’t giving me her full weight. It felt almost unbearable as is. But we adjusted, got both of her legs out in front of her, and she slid all the way back onto my tiny ribs.
She liked that position a lot. She enjoyed hearing me grunt to force the tiniest of oxygen into my lungs each breath. And “breath” is a massive overstatement. They were maybe 5% of my normal breathing happening. I was suffocating. And as my muscles wore out and my forced breathing allowed her to sink further and further into my body… I could see the light.
She liked it so much that she wanted to try forward sitting once more but this time more toward my chest.
She began rolling on, which is always the most amazing moment. Where you can see this massive, beautiful, powerful woman about to give you her weight. That moment right before you are engulfed. Overwhelmed. Pushed to your limits of survival.
She got her full girth rolled up onto me and it was immediate destruction.
There she was, exerting zero effort. Well, she was jiggling her belly. But totally oblivious to the fact that I was on the verge of panic. My spine felt dangerously crushed. And from this position, no matter how hard I grunted, I couldn’t get any air into my lungs. Don’t get it twisted. It’s a beautiful dichotomy… her sitting there relaxing while I’m struggling to survive. But it’s in those very moments where a tiny voice cries out from deep in the abyss of my unconscious mind. “Dude, you’re going to die. WTF are doing to yourself?”
I pushed the limit furthest in this position. It was just too magical of a position peering up at the giant belly and feeling all that pressure. I did eventually tap. I’m not sure how long I lasted. Every second felt like an hour. I kid you not. That’s how epic these experiences are. I’m sure it was only a matter of seconds in reality, though.
She went on to side sit me a few times. It wasn’t as intense as her weight was spread across my body more evenly in this position. It’s all relative, though, as I was still pushed to my limits before long.
At this point I was toasted. My body hurt. My back was killing me. Usually, all this hard surface weight play is interspersed with some padded sitting. There was none of that to be had. She was relentless. I made what I thought to be my final plea for mercy. Only she wasn’t done. Remember… I had shared a number of videos with her in preparation of this shoot. I wanted to “prepare” her for what to expect. Well… turns out that she wanted to try that “standing on you” stuff. She thought it looked fun.
I’ll be honest, I was super hesitant. My body just didn’t feel up for it. Plus, this woman felt really freaking heavy. I didn’t know what she weighed but she was right up there with the heaviest weight I’d experienced up to that point. I didn’t even know if trampling was safe to do at this woman’s size. In the heat of the moment, though, emotions beat out logic and I sprawled my weary body out across that unforgivingly hard floor one last time.
If you’ve never layed on your back peering up at a woman this size as she walks toward you… it’s one of the most astonishing and frightening sights to be had.
She did manage to step up onto me… one foot heavily sinking into my ribcage and the other into my lower abdomen.
Of course, she was leaning a lot of her weight into the table. Still… there were hundreds and hundreds of pounds pressing into me through the relatively tiny surface area of her feet. And then it happened. Quite literally one of the closest times I’ve come to being seriously injured while under a woman.
She was just about to stand tall from the table when the foot that was on my chest slipped. Only it didn’t slip sideways. It slipped up to my neck.
That’s how quickly this can go from intense fun to intense tragedy boys and girls. This was pretty early in my squashing career and I’ve learned a lot since then. But still… it’s hard to put into words just how heavy 600+ lbs really is. When you’re applying it through feet, one small slip up can rush a massive amount of force and pressure onto very sensitive areas of your body that have no business handling 600-700 lbs.
In this particular case, I literally have zero ideas how I walked away from the event unscathed. I can still remember the second her weight crashed onto my throat. It was just that… a second. But time stopped for me. My vision went black immediately and it felt like she was standing straight through my throat onto my cervical spine. And just as quickly as the weight slid onto my throat, it slid off.
I count my blessings as I recount this amazing and scary day.
You’d think that’d be the end of our first experience together. At this point, I was explaining how beat up I felt and how I didn’t think I had it in me to tolerate any more weight. She pleaded with me to try facesitting. I wasn’t having it, which I’m sure sounds crazy to all of you who’ve never had your body destroyed like this. At that moment, though, I truly felt that if I let this giant woman sit on my face on the hard floor that I wouldn’t walk away in one piece. I had already pushed my luck further than I had intended.
She did get me to agree to lay on the bed to give her a nice comfy seat to plant her giant ass on.
She smothered me good… leaving me gasping for air more than once. She even tried to jump up onto my face at one point.
I was completely finished at this point. I remember pleading, “No more, no more,” as I rolled over to my side to remove any possibility of her sitting back down onto me. My throat was sore from the trampling mishap. It was hard to swallow actually, which was freaking me out a little. My spine hurt. My ribs were sore. And my face felt beat up from being sat on. She agreed that I had enough and that was that.
Those early days of my squashing career were the Wild Wild West of times. I was just learning the ropes… figuring out what my body could and could not tolerate. I was learning, through trial and error, how to execute most of these positions as safely as possible. And yeah… I was flirting with disaster at times.
All of that said, this encounter was one I’ll never forget. I purposefully didn’t mention this woman’s name and I concealed her identity in the photos. If you’ve been around the BBW scene for any length of time, you’ll know who she is. I ask that you please keep her identity concealed in the comments section. This footage never made it onto any websites and she has since retired from posting this sort of material on the ‘net. I still have the original video and it’s for my eyes only. While this woman and I no longer communicate, I do think extremely highly of her. She has my utmost respect and I expect that to be maintained by all of you reading this. I have no doubt that I could make decent money if I posted this video onto the websites… but that’s a trust I’d never break like that.
It’s amazing women like her that give us the possibility to experience weight and power in this way. If this woman comes across this story, all I can say is THANK YOU! Thanks for trusting me enough to try this with me. And thanks for letting me experience your beauty and power from this perspective. You rock and I truly hope that you are well.
As for the second encounter… it did happen. There was a lot more full weight floor sitting. At one point I was forward facesat by her on the hard floor without padding. In the next set she was standing on me full weight yet again… this time without incident besides the bruised ribs and what felt like a tear in the wall of my stomach. I’ll save this story for another day. And truth be told… I can’t find the original video from this second encounter. And without pictures, the story is diluted too much for my liking.
Anyhow, this is just one small piece to the giant puzzle of squashing adventure that led up to the creation of Full Weight Productions.
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